How To Avoid A Family Feud Over Your Estate Plan In California

In this article, you can discover…

• The most common types of estate planning disputes a family may encounter.
• Helpful ways to divide assets so as to avoid conflict and resentment.
• How an experienced attorney can help your family avoid hurtful disputes.

What Are The Most Common Causes Of Family Disputes Over Estate Planning?

The first type of dispute is linked to surprises. Often, an adult child expects to receive a specific item, as a parent had always told them, for example, “The boat is yours once I pass away.” However, when the estate plans fail to meet those expectations, it can lead to disputes and frustration.

The second type of dispute is linked to unfairness. In many cases, resentments have simmered for years. Perhaps the youngest child had their college education paid for while the oldest had to convince their parents to agree to a student loan. This feeling of unfairness can continue within the estate plan.

In other cases, every child may have been treated equally, so the adult children expect an equal share. Ultimately, they’re shocked to find that everything has gone to one sibling. That can feel deeply unfair.

Finally, disputes can arise when there is a lack of clarity in the administrative process. The estate planning documents appear fair, but the trustee of the estate, typically one of the adult children, isn’t communicating with their siblings. As a result, no one knows what’s going on, and those frustrations can, if left unchecked, develop into a full-blown dispute.

Why Do “Simple” Estate Plans Often Lead To Unexpected Legal Battles?

A seemingly simple estate plan can actually backfire. For example, you may end up with an estate plan that lacks clear markers demonstrating capacity and intention. This is especially true if you use DIY forms that are printed off the internet.

Such documents may not be properly executed or, even if legally valid, could be executed in a manner that raises questions. For example, a comprehensive estate plan drafted by a lawyer that is then superseded with a DIY-style plan that has gaps or holes and is witnessed by two next-door neighbors can raise a lot of questions.

They may also lead to disputes as to whether or not you were in your right mind when you wrote the document, or whether you were manipulated or coerced into leaving assets to a specific family member.

In contrast, working over the course of weeks with an estate planning attorney will help you ensure that your plans are clear, properly executed, and less prone to dispute. Properly worded documents will also provide ample markers to demonstrate your mental capacity and intention.

The second problem with “simple” estate plans is poor wording or ambiguity. If you simply describe your assets as “your personal property”, this can lead to chaos. What did you mean by “personal property”? Did you simply mean clothing and knick-knacks, or did you mean to include the house, as well?

Simplicity does not always equal clarity, and sometimes, three sentences create more questions than a 30-page document ever could. You must be clear, and the best way to be as clear as possible is to allow an estate planning attorney to help you write your estate planning documents.

Attorney Rebecca Sommer is a caring, knowledgeable estate planning attorney serving California. Since 2015, she’s helped clients just like you avoid family disputes through careful, thorough, and thoughtful estate planning.

Have questions, or in need of legal help? Reach out to The Law Office of Rebecca Sommer for an initial consultation today.

What Are The Best Ways To Divide Assets Fairly To Avoid Family Resentment?

One of the best ways to avoid family disputes is to give an explanation for your choices in the estate planning documents themselves, or in an instruction letter for your estate’s trustee.

For example, you could explicitly write, “Since my youngest son has spent the last several years caring for me, I leave him the family home so that he will always have a place to live”. This will at least help your other children understand the reason for a surprising or less equal distribution and hopefully minimize resentment.

It can be challenging to have these conversations with children while you’re still alive, so explaining the reasoning behind your choices in writing can help clarify matters for your children without having to sit them down for difficult conversations along the way, especially if your plans change.

If you have an especially sentimental asset that would mean a lot to one child, be sure to assign it clearly or consider giving it to your child while you’re still alive.

And if you really want to distribute assets fairly, you must consider each high-value asset against the total percentage of the estate your child is meant to have. For example, if you want to leave your daughter one-half of your cash assets but are also leaving her a property, count that property against her cash inheritance (and be careful while drafting this because the relative values of the assets will likely change over time). This way, assets are truly divided more fairly between her and her brother, who won’t inherit that property.

Finally, consider whether your beneficiaries truly want the things you’re leaving them. If your oldest child is terrified of being on the water, leaving them your sailboat may not be a good idea.

What Are Some Small Decisions That Can Spark Surprisingly Big Conflicts Between Family Members?

One of the most contentious items can be very small, inexpensive items with a very high sentimental value. You may not think any of your kids would want that tiny little item that always sat on the mantle. But, in fact, all of your children remember it being in the house; they all remember it very fondly, and they all were hoping to get it. If it’s not assigned, this can cause remarkable resentment and bitterness as your children fight for it.

Some of my clients follow a process where they ask their children, while they’re still alive, to pick the top three things they want. Sometimes, this can help avoid significant, painful conflicts over items that hold a great deal of sentimental value.

Finally, if you wish to leave one child something extra, such as a life insurance policy, it is usually best to avoid trying to “sneak it” by the other children. Doing this secretly can backfire, especially if your children find out after you’re gone when they are going through paperwork. That secrecy can – on its own – cause resentment and easily fracture ties.

Still Have Questions? Ready To Get Started?

For more information on avoiding estate disputes in California, an initial consultation is your next best step. Get the information and legal answers you are seeking by calling (657) 210-3722 today.